Workbook
The Pod or the Pond
A Workbook for Close Relationships Changing in Opposite Directions
This workbook produces a named, honest review of compatibility — and a clean agreement either way.
For the couple or partnership facing a transformation so fundamental that it may reveal you belong in different futures. For the person who loves someone deeply and is beginning to understand that love may not be enough to make your paths compatible.
The Name It First Experience
Love is not always enough to make two paths compatible — this workbook is where you find out. The Pod or the Pond walks you through the fundamental question facing any partnership under transformation: whether you are growing together into a shared future, or growing toward futures that genuinely require different lives. It is for the couple where one or both people have changed so fundamentally that the question of compatibility can no longer be avoided — and who want to answer it with honesty rather than avoidance. You finish with a written compatibility assessment and a clear agreement — whether to stay, to restructure, or to part with your dignity and the relationship intact.
You can opt into 30-, 60-, and 90-day check-ins from your account. We recommend you do — the point is to see what changed.
Sample questions
- Who are you becoming — and does that person belong in the same future as the person you chose?
- What do you want from your life now that was not true three years ago?
- What makes you happy in this relationship that you would fight to protect — and what feels like it is pulling you in different directions?
Research basis
Attachment theory / Gottman / Bowen differentiation / ACT / existential psychology / narrative therapy
Choose your format.
Every format asks the same questions and produces the same document.
Print Paperbackpersonalize
A real book and a pen. Write in the margins. The most permanent version of you on a page.
$27.99
eBook + journal
The full guide on any screen, with a companion journal to write your answers by hand.
Not available
Audiobook
We read every question and every scenario aloud. For the commute, the walk, the dishes.
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Hardcoverpersonalize
The keepsake edition — sewn, ribboned, made to sit on a shelf and be returned to.
Not available
Digital Fill + membership+membership
Answer on screen. Your responses save as you go and assemble into your finished document.
$16.99
Hands-Free Interactive + membership+membership
Listen to each question and speak your answer. We capture it. You never touch a keyboard.
Not available
Everything packages
The Paperback Everything Package
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The Hardcover Everything Package
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The Premium Hardcover Everything Package
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Choose your pace.
The Essential path takes you to your finished document by the questions that matter most. The Full-depth path walks every question, every scenario, every angle. Both produce the same signed document — one just goes deeper on the way there.
Essential path
Shorter sessions. The questions that go directly to the document.
Full depth
Every question. Every scenario, every angle.
Partner Pair
Built for two. You each work your own copy, on your own time — then you bring them together and compare, one answer at a time.
The comparison is the conversation.
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