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The Amends Workbook
What to Say, What Not to Say, and What to Do After
An amends isn't a confession or apology. It's something more specific.
For the person ready to make amends who needs a structured approach that repairs rather than reopens.
The Name It First Experience
Amends done wrong can reopen wounds, center the person who caused harm, and make things worse. This workbook names what genuine amends requires: honesty about the harm, restraint about your own needs in the moment, and a plan for what comes after. The output is not an apology letter. It is a signed Amends Agreement.
You can opt into 30-, 60-, and 90-day check-ins from your account. We recommend you do — the point is to see what changed.
Sample questions
- What would you need to do differently than you've done before for this to be an amend and not an apology?
- What is the amends you most need to make — and what has stopped you so far?
- Who have you harmed — and what have you been avoiding acknowledging about that?
- What would you need to say or do for this to be a genuine amends rather than just words?
Research basis
Amends and forgiveness research (Worthington, Enright): effective amends — those that produce reconciliation or at least closure — are specific about the harm, express genuine accountability without deflection, and do not center the apologizer's need for forgiveness. 12-step amends research: structured preparation for amends conversations produces better outcomes than unstructured attempts. Restorative justice research: repair of harm is most effective when the harmed party's experience is centered and the person causing harm has prepared to hear it.
Choose your format.
Every format asks the same questions and produces the same document.
Print Paperbackpersonalize
A real book and a pen. Write in the margins. The most permanent version of you on a page.
$19.99
eBook + journal
The full guide on any screen, with a companion journal to write your answers by hand.
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Audiobook
We read every question and every scenario aloud. For the commute, the walk, the dishes.
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Hardcoverpersonalize
The keepsake edition — sewn, ribboned, made to sit on a shelf and be returned to.
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Digital Fill + membership+membership
Answer on screen. Your responses save as you go and assemble into your finished document.
$9.99
Hands-Free Interactive + membership+membership
Listen to each question and speak your answer. We capture it. You never touch a keyboard.
Not available
Everything packages
The Paperback Everything Package
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The Hardcover Everything Package
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The Premium Hardcover Everything Package
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Choose your pace.
The Essential path takes you to your finished document by the questions that matter most. The Full-depth path walks every question, every scenario, every angle. Both produce the same signed document — one just goes deeper on the way there.
Essential path
Shorter sessions. The questions that go directly to the document.
Full depth
Every question. Every scenario, every angle.
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