Extension
For People Whose Partner Has an Addiction
The Love That Isn't Enough and the Boundary That Is
You can't love it out of them. But you can decide who you are while they figure it out.
For the People who love someone with an addiction — who are not in denial about what it is, who want to stay present in the relationship, and who need a guide for doing that without destroying themselves in the process.
The Name It First Experience
Loving someone with an addiction is one of the most specific and least-supported positions a person can be in. The love is real. The helplessness is real. The question of where the line is — what's supporting versus enabling, what's loyal versus lost — is almost never answered with the specificity the situation requires. This extension addresses what it's like: the patterns, the positions, the things you keep doing that don't work, and what a boundary looks like when you love someone and mean it. Grounded in attachment theory's work on anxious-avoidant dynamics, EFT research on emotional regulation under chronic stress, and family systems research on addiction and relational codependency. At the end, you'll have The People Whose Partner Has an Addiction Identity Charter.
You can opt into 30-, 60-, and 90-day check-ins from your account. We recommend you do — the point is to see what changed.
Sample questions
- How are you taking care of yourself through this — what does your own support look like?
- What do you still see in the person you're building this with that keeps you here — and is that enough right now?
- What do you need that you're not letting yourself ask for?
- What would it mean to love the person you're building this with and also protect yourself?
Research basis
Gottman (relationship research) / Bowlby (attachment theory/anxious attachment) / Orford (addiction and family coping) / Rotunda (partner accommodation of addiction) / Beattie (codependency framework)
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Every format asks the same questions and produces the same document.
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The full guide on any screen, with a companion journal to write your answers by hand.
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Audiobook
We read every question and every scenario aloud. For the commute, the walk, the dishes.
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The keepsake edition — sewn, ribboned, made to sit on a shelf and be returned to.
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Answer on screen. Your responses save as you go and assemble into your finished document.
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Hands-Free Interactive + membership+membership
Listen to each question and speak your answer. We capture it. You never touch a keyboard.
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The Essential path takes you to your finished document by the questions that matter most. The Full-depth path walks every question, every scenario, every angle. Both produce the same signed document — one just goes deeper on the way there.
Essential path
Shorter sessions. The questions that go directly to the document.
Full depth
Every question. Every scenario, every angle.
Partner Pair
Built for two. You each work your own copy, on your own time — then you bring them together and compare, one answer at a time.
The comparison is the conversation.
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