Workbook
For Nigerian (American) Men
A Workbook on Provider Pressure, the Motherland Obligation, and the Man You Are When No One Is Watching
Your family's survival doesn't require your erasure. That's not the choice you have to make.
For the Nigerian American man carrying the provider mandate, the motherland obligation, and the expectation that he will do it without complaint — who wants to support his family AND build his own life.
The Name It First Experience
Your parents came here for opportunity and to build. Your father was the provider. You watched him work hard, send money home, maintain respect as family leader. You're supposed to do the same. Your siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles back home expect you to support them. Your parents expect you to be successful and generous and respectful and ambitious and provide. Nobody asked you what you wanted. You're working jobs that don't match your education to send money home. You're building a family while carrying your extended family's financial dependence. This workbook addresses the real psychological work: understanding family obligation as cultural, not personal; grieving the freedom to make choices; redefining what masculinity means; and building a life that isn't entirely consumed by provider role.
You can opt into 30-, 60-, and 90-day check-ins from your account. We recommend you do — the point is to see what changed.
Sample questions
- How many people depend on you financially — and when did you decide you could carry that, or did anyone ask?
- What does the man who is consumed by provision look like from the inside — and how close is that to what you are right now?
- What would the Nigerian American Men's Charter say about supporting your family AND building a life that is yours?
Research basis
Masculinity studies and provider pressure (Connell, Neff), family systems theory and intergenerational obligation, African diaspora studies (Mbembe), Nigerian American studies, migration and transnational family networks research, gender studies and cultural frameworks, critical race theory, narrative therapy for identity, postcolonial theory (Said, Fanon), loss and grief psychology, family financial obligation studies
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Every question. Every scenario, every angle.
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