Kit
For Couples Who Fight About Sex
Desire, Frequency, and the Conversation Underneath
The conversation about sex is almost never about sex. This is how you have the real one.
For partners navigating the specific tension of mismatched desire — where frequency, initiation, rejection, and disconnection have built a pattern that neither person knows how to break without making it worse.
The Name It First Experience
The sexual conflict in a long-term relationship is almost always a proxy for something else: feeling wanted, feeling heard, feeling like the relationship is still alive, feeling safe enough to ask for what you want. The fight about frequency is usually a fight about desire. The silence is usually about what neither person has felt safe enough to name. This kit creates the conditions for the real conversation — not about logistics, but about what each person needs and what has made asking for it feel impossible. The output is not a sex schedule. It is a signed Desire Agreement.
You can opt into 30-, 60-, and 90-day check-ins from your account. We recommend you do — the point is to see what changed.
Sample questions
- What does connection feel like in your relationship when it's working — and how do you build more of that?
- What has been hard to say out loud about your needs — and what would happen if you did?
- What does intimacy mean to you beyond the physical — and is the person you're building this with meeting that need?
- What do you wish the person you're building this with understood about what you need in this area of your relationship?
Research basis
Gottman (sexual satisfaction and relationship quality) / Bowlby (attachment and intimacy) / McCarthy (good enough sex model) / Schnarch (differentiation and sexual desire) / Perel (erotic desire in committed relationships)
Choose your format.
Every format asks the same questions and produces the same document.
Print Paperbackpersonalize
A real book and a pen. Write in the margins. The most permanent version of you on a page.
$19.99
eBook + journal
The full guide on any screen, with a companion journal to write your answers by hand.
Not available
Audiobook
We read every question and every scenario aloud. For the commute, the walk, the dishes.
Not available
Hardcoverpersonalize
The keepsake edition — sewn, ribboned, made to sit on a shelf and be returned to.
Not available
Digital Fill + membership+membership
Answer on screen. Your responses save as you go and assemble into your finished document.
$9.99
Hands-Free Interactive + membership+membership
Listen to each question and speak your answer. We capture it. You never touch a keyboard.
Not available
Everything packages
The Paperback Everything Package
[personalize]
Not available
The Hardcover Everything Package
[personalize]
Not available
The Premium Hardcover Everything Package
[personalize]
Not available
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Choose your pace.
The Essential path takes you to your finished document by the questions that matter most. The Full-depth path walks every question, every scenario, every angle. Both produce the same signed document — one just goes deeper on the way there.
Essential path
Shorter sessions. The questions that go directly to the document.
Full depth
Every question. Every scenario, every angle.
Partner Pair
Built for two. You each work your own copy, on your own time — then you bring them together and compare, one answer at a time.
The comparison is the conversation.
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Buy it for yourself.
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