Extension

For Adult Children of Alcoholics

The House Rules You Still Follow

The house rules do not apply anymore. This workbook helps you find which ones you kept.

This is for:

For the adult who grew up with an alcoholic parent and recognizes patterns of control, hypervigilance, or difficulty trusting in themselves.

You'll produce:your Your ACoA Identity Map

The Name It First Experience

You didn't grow up in a normal house. You grew up in one where the rules were unspoken, the moods were unpredictable, and everyone was managing something that was never named. This workbook names what that did to your identity — and who you are now that you get to decide. The Adult Children of Alcoholics Identity Charter is yours when you finish.

You can opt into 30-, 60-, and 90-day check-ins from your account. We recommend you do — the point is to see what changed.

Sample questions

  1. What patterns from your childhood do you still find yourself navigating — and what helps most?
  2. Who in your life has helped you understand that you deserved better — and what did that do for you?
  3. What does your life feel like now — and what have you built that you are genuinely proud of?
  4. What strength do you have specifically because of what you survived?

Research basis

ACoA research (Woititz, Black): adult children of alcoholics show predictable adaptive patterns — hypervigilance, people pleasing, difficulty with trust and intimacy — as products of their family environment. ACEs research (Felitti, Anda): parental alcoholism is an ACE / ACoA patterns are downstream effects of chronic adverse childhood experience. Bowen Family Systems Theory: alcoholic families produce triangulation, emotional cutoff, and enmeshment patterns that persist across generations / differentiation work is the intervention. Narrative therapy (White): the family of origin story becomes the dominant story / re-authoring requires explicit naming of the old story before it can be changed. Self-Compassion (Neff): self-compassion is particularly transformative for ACoAs who learned self-criticism as a survival mechanism.

Choose your format.

Every format asks the same questions and produces the same document.

Print Paperbackpersonalize

A real book and a pen. Write in the margins. The most permanent version of you on a page.

$19.99

eBook + journal

The full guide on any screen, with a companion journal to write your answers by hand.

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Audiobook

We read every question and every scenario aloud. For the commute, the walk, the dishes.

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Hardcoverpersonalize

The keepsake edition — sewn, ribboned, made to sit on a shelf and be returned to.

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Digital Fill + membership+membership

Answer on screen. Your responses save as you go and assemble into your finished document.

$9.99

Hands-Free Interactive + membership+membership

Listen to each question and speak your answer. We capture it. You never touch a keyboard.

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Choose your pace.

The Essential path takes you to your finished document by the questions that matter most. The Full-depth path walks every question, every scenario, every angle. Both produce the same signed document — one just goes deeper on the way there.

Essential path

Shorter sessions. The questions that go directly to the document.

Full depth

Every question. Every scenario, every angle.

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